Category - Shame Resilience

Learning shame resilience is like installing malware and virus protection for your mind.

Its amazing that its not a more widely taught or talked about thing, because without feelings of shame, or fear of failure, your mind is free to let loose on pursuits of happiness, success and fulfillment without being held back.

1
Why shame resilience is useful
2
Find your Shame (the feelings)
3
Explore your Shame Effects (the consequences)
4
Learn your Shame Triggers (the causes)
5
Find your Shame Identities (the conflicts)

Why shame resilience is useful

When you learn to notice feelings of shame, you earn a special reward – the option to do something about it.

I’ll share some personal examples of how my own shame awareness has made me look at situations completely differently.

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Find your Shame (the feelings)

When I feel shame, I feel like I have less energy. I withdraw, rest, and sometimes just dissolve into the background. There’s a specific reason for this, which is why a lot of people feel this way.

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Explore your Shame Effects (the consequences)

The first task to building shame resilience is becoming aware, as best as you can, of the feelings of shame that you do have. Its harder than it sounds because shame mostly works at an unconscious level. You have to become a bit of a mind detective and work backwards. 

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Learn your Shame Triggers (the causes)

Shame triggers are the moments that cause you to feel shame – which might manifest as anger, fear, nerves, or just feeling rubbish about yourself. Here are some examples to get you going:

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Find your Shame Identities (the conflicts)

Shame identities are slightly different to shame triggers. They’re the traits you’ve been taught in childhood to associate with shame, that you can’t help but wander into – personality traits, or things like success, wealth or beauty.

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