Author: Will Williams

Isn’t defensiveness one of the most frustrating traits to deal with? When you know you’re right – but despite making sound, reasonable, logical and compelling arguments, you get a bunch of irrational, angry nonsense back instead! Once you understand where it comes from, you might look at it in a different way. See how many of…

Shame is great at protecting you from situations which threaten to expose those murky scary feelings. Being late for appointments, not making eye contact with people, not wanting to go to social events, losing your ability to “be yourself” when around new people. It genuinely terrifies me how powerful, and life-crippling this effect is!

People love to talk about themselves – but how often do we really open up to our selves, our vulnerabilities or insecurities?

There’s a good reason why you might “become someone else” when flying into a shame-based rage. You almost are someone else – the primal parts of your brain are being activated. Doesn’t this explain so much? 

A client once came to me with a curious condition. Calmly, this chap in his late twenties described how his throat would randomly seize up, making him unable to speak and barely able to breathe. I imagined him being like a victim of one of Darth Vader’s strangulations via “the force”.