You’re probably already more of an expert than you know, at least on the feelings and effects of shame-based anxiety – having likely used many efforts in wrestling with, hiding, denying and coping with them. Even if you don’t realize it.
As you read through these articles, I wonder how many things you’ll relate to – whether in yourself, or others.
There are all those experiences of nerves, worries you can’t control, sleepless hours in the night, vague fears, depressions and funks that you can’t climb out of for days.
Times where you notice yourself procrastinating or sticking to some arbitrary routine because it feels more secure, even if it moves you further from your real goals.
When your emotions and caring attitudes seem to just collapse into the ground, and you doubt all your relationships as being “phoney”.
Sometimes you may begin to doubt your “emotional machinery” and believe that you’ll never feel positive feelings toward people or your life again, finding it hard to even imagine (fortunately the machinery can, and will be mended).
There are also those other moments that you might not have associated to anxiety before, such as lashing out at people, saying bitchy things about others behind their back, moments of road rage or overreacting to things that really needn’t matter.
And then there are the ponderous moments of reflection, where you stop to consider the shape of your life, the patterns of mistakes or self-destruction. The frightening thought of what your life could be if you weren’t seemingly so restricted or held back by things that seem just out of reach…
This is what it means to be human, and carry fears of not being good enough, being rejected, not connecting to people, and being unloved.
So as you read more about the common effects of shame, realize that you’re not alone. With awareness new options and levels of control will open up for you.